Playing Catch-up

You ain’t seen me in a while but I’m good. I ain’t worried much these days, and it’s been a bliss. Met a man and I let myself fall in love, and it’s working out. I am thirty now and my skin is clear. I haven’t cried as hard in months and the bursting banks of my tear ducts are sealed.

Daddy calls me about my house and says to look for cracks in the corners of walls, and I know he cares. He doesn’t trust any builder that isn’t him. Mama has been warm since our last cold war and I don’t feel orphaned in this big beautiful world. Grandma asks when I’m coming home, I know she miss me.

I been writing to God, retracting things I said before about everything I told him he did wrong, and putting in lines about all the ways my life is right. My friendships and friends thrive and my siblings are still keeping all of me together.

I know you ain’t seen me in a while but I am not lost. I found a beautiful home by the trees and birds come to feed off my windowsill, the rain taps on my window, and the moon glistens over my balcony. I bought a warm blanket and a cosy couch, a writing desk with my writing sprawled across it.

My emails blink with prospects of a home for my works and my radio has been blasting music. My bookshelf boasts of bounties and I read still, eager to consume it all before the good lord calls me home. My coffee is hot and my belly is full, so is my heart. My little life feels perfect.

I know you ain’t seen me in a while but I am doing okay, I promise. I have been places with waters, sands, and rocks and I have felt myself in all of them. My whiskey is strong and so is my body. I haven’t been scared of what if I fails since I started doing only my best.

I know you ain’t seen me in a while but I am better now.

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